I DIDN'T HEX LSU!!!

Yesterday, out at East Ridge CC I walked over to the refreshment table to order a soda and entered into a conversation, with one of the cabana boys, that I would soon regret. He asked me about LSU baseball. I've already spoken out on the reality of how spoiled baseball players are, so it should come to no one's surprise that I didn't have glowing words. But then I really stepped in it...

I made one harmless remark... One small utterance to the tune of "I don't want them to win AGAIN!" I quickly added, "Only because I am ready for my husband to stop chasing them and come home for a day or so!"


Oh, it was ON! People came out of the woodwork! Accusing! Fingers pointed! Aghast at what I had said! "She wants LSU to LOSE!!" I tried to plead my case, but no one would hear me! Suddenly I was a witch in Salem! I was the hunted! (It didn't help that I had on a giant floppy black sun hat either.)


"You're going to HEX them!"

"She HEXED LSU!"

"No one should ever say such a thing!"

"Let's get her!"


The angry voices rang out (except for the last line, that was just in my imagination)! Mother's shied their children from me, life guards eyed me with contempt as I walked back to my lounge chair with my Diet Coke.


I spoke out loud trying to settle the unruley mob, "I really love to watch LSU baseball, it's just that ALL baseball players are spoiled... they get to chew bubble gum and play and never mess their hair up... you know what I mean?"


They weren't buying it!



"Plus I like their coach, a lot! He looks so nice! Kind of like Newt Gingrich! I love Newt Gingrich! Don't you guys?"

Still angry grimaces where nice, polite faces were just 15 short minutes ago! What had I done?

"I am a huge LSU FAN!" I yelled at them all. "I just want a husband for a while!"

The vast majority had not heard my first explaination and didn't quite understand the gist of my complaint, but I was past caring. Let them tie me to a stake and burn me! If LSU lost, then OK! They had plenty of turns to play! (each player gets three tries to hit the dang ball with the bat! Now that is just excessive!) I'M THE HEXER! I'LL WEAR IT LIKE A SCARLET LETTER!