Soccer Soap Operas... A Flop

Flop... Floppin'... Apparently it is a sporting term I was unfamiliar with, which isn't a shock considering I've referred to the middle of a football game as "parttime."

A FLOP is what soccer players do when they are fouled. They "fall out," so to speak, in a dramatic way so as to capture the referee's attention. I remember the last time someone I knew "fell out." A girlfriend of mine tipped over in her chair and ripped her pants while laughing... she laughed so hard she "fell out."



It's also what some people do in church when they are overwhelmed by the Spirit... or being "slain in the Spirit."



Considering what "fall out" means (to me) and what "flop" means when referring to a bad movie I'd say calling what European soccer players do when fouled makes all the sense in the world.






I also use the term as the definition of my son's attempt at a dive which further reinforces my belief that this term is accurate when referring to Soccer.















BUT it is the reason, sadly, I do not like to watch European Soccer. I wish I could. I feel so left out when most of the planet is rallying around a sport and I can't stomach it. But I can't. It gives me the same feeling as watching soap operas on Telemundo.

Too much drama in a foreign language. It's just weird to me. Kind of like some of the shows on BBC. Can't do it. The people look so goofy with their over-acting. EVERYTHING is over the top... over the tippity top! I can't stand it.

So enjoy your Soccer, flopping, and Telemundo... I'll be watching the O'Reilly Factor... now that is high drama.

I DIDN'T HEX LSU!!!

Yesterday, out at East Ridge CC I walked over to the refreshment table to order a soda and entered into a conversation, with one of the cabana boys, that I would soon regret. He asked me about LSU baseball. I've already spoken out on the reality of how spoiled baseball players are, so it should come to no one's surprise that I didn't have glowing words. But then I really stepped in it...

I made one harmless remark... One small utterance to the tune of "I don't want them to win AGAIN!" I quickly added, "Only because I am ready for my husband to stop chasing them and come home for a day or so!"


Oh, it was ON! People came out of the woodwork! Accusing! Fingers pointed! Aghast at what I had said! "She wants LSU to LOSE!!" I tried to plead my case, but no one would hear me! Suddenly I was a witch in Salem! I was the hunted! (It didn't help that I had on a giant floppy black sun hat either.)


"You're going to HEX them!"

"She HEXED LSU!"

"No one should ever say such a thing!"

"Let's get her!"


The angry voices rang out (except for the last line, that was just in my imagination)! Mother's shied their children from me, life guards eyed me with contempt as I walked back to my lounge chair with my Diet Coke.


I spoke out loud trying to settle the unruley mob, "I really love to watch LSU baseball, it's just that ALL baseball players are spoiled... they get to chew bubble gum and play and never mess their hair up... you know what I mean?"


They weren't buying it!



"Plus I like their coach, a lot! He looks so nice! Kind of like Newt Gingrich! I love Newt Gingrich! Don't you guys?"

Still angry grimaces where nice, polite faces were just 15 short minutes ago! What had I done?

"I am a huge LSU FAN!" I yelled at them all. "I just want a husband for a while!"

The vast majority had not heard my first explaination and didn't quite understand the gist of my complaint, but I was past caring. Let them tie me to a stake and burn me! If LSU lost, then OK! They had plenty of turns to play! (each player gets three tries to hit the dang ball with the bat! Now that is just excessive!) I'M THE HEXER! I'LL WEAR IT LIKE A SCARLET LETTER!

Mexican Train!

To heck with baseball... I have found a new past time that everyone should be playing! Mexican Train! I could usually care less about bones, but this dominoes game has a sharp hook! It is so addictive. I have stayed up the past two nights playing with some buddies like we are college students with no classes tomorrow. Idiots, I know. It's so much fun! Check it out!





Come on ride the train... ride it! It's a choo choo train!

Introducing Loreto Fest!!

Apparently I am not the only poor soul taken with the clink of the dominoes... The famous Loreto Fest, held at Puerto Escondido, enjoys a galloping game with as much zest as you would find in any cantina!






Here is a photo of the winners for the 2005 season...

One of the games at Loreto Fest is the ever popular "Name those Knees!" As a matter of fact, we have the photo here today! If you can identify this set of knees it's worth a free beer at Loreto Fest!















The Spam Art contest is always a rebel rousing event at the FEST...
Marilyn "Tortuga" an expert with her spam high kudos presides over the "Spam Art Contest" (Spam may wear many faces)

2007 Winner "Spamateur Weathermen"	3rd year appearance "Spam Marley"	"Spami"

These are the Committee Heads they have so far for the Fest...

Program: Lesley Tickets: Merry - "Airops" Beer Sales: Fred "Casa Anuja" Swap Meet: Connie "Sunlover" Chili Cook - Off: Dave "Carlota" Spaghetti Dinner: Kenny "Brandywine" Dinghy Races: Carlos "Mango Mambo" Horseshoes: Don "No Se" 50/50 Draw: "Sealover" Face Painting: "Mystical"

Theme: Vicki & Joe "Cat house" Prizes: Karen "Bella" Membership - T-Shirts: Peggy "Interlude - Connie "Sunlover Baked Items & Sales: Mary "Lee Ann" - Joe "Amigo Joe" Thursday Appetizers: Marilyn "Tortuga" Spam Contest: Marilyn "Tortuga" Dinghy Parade: Ginny "Renege" Over the Line: "Neka" Silent Auction: Patty's opal

Should be a hum dinger this year! See you there!

Sex in the Shreveport

Are there any women in Shreveport that are remotely like the four on Sex in the City? I really don't know. I do know, however, that IF there aren't it's because they've already gotten married and are living in the suburbs. Am I the only one to notice how young everyone gets married in northwest LA?

Why do people do that? My theory is the "Hurry before all the good ones are gone" mentality reigns here. See, everyone needs to stick to the new "Let's be adults first" plan, but everyone has to play or it doesn't work... people get panicky. It's like playing chicken... the first one that jumps looses (by settling too soon) but at least their settled. No one wants to be the last man standing when teams are being selected, right? That is just basic playground rules. But can't we at least try, people? Try to have some real, live single grown-ups here in Shreveport?

Alas, I was a young jumper, which may be the reason I'm on husband number 2. Why did I take the plunge at the ripe old age of 23? Um... I can't remember. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time, I guess. See... that is the problem! If it seemed like a dumb move to get hitched that early, more young 20's wouldn't. They would have time to figure out who they are as an adult instead of living through the teen crisis years, just reaching adulthood and making a decision based on their experience, mainly as a teen, that will drastically change their lives (and possibly their children's lives) forever. If they stuck to the "Let's be adults first" plan they would develop their career, maybe acquire more schooling to enhance their career, and mature in their personal life and be better functioning members of society. Shreveport could use a flood of 20 and 30's like that...

That is sexy!

Baseball Players are Spoiled

What sport can progress at the leisure of the players with no limit of time? Baseball.

What sport gives it's players multiple chances to succeed during their given turn? Baseball.

What sport allows the players ample time for standing, sitting, chewing, spitting? Baseball.

What sport pays their players the most money? Baseball.

So, do I watch? Um... yep. Well, I watch when it's LSU Baseball. Have I mentioned these guys just broke the SEC record for winning games in a row? So,



GO TIGERS!








BTW: Rebecca and I will be hosting the radio show (supertalk1340.com) tomorrow morning so you knuckle draggers tune in. We compiled a list of observations and quotes of interest to share with the listeners. Here is a sample...

"Monks live in a Monkery... right?"

You are allowed to show your pleasure.